TRANSFORMERS – LAST KNIGHT: TRANSFORMIUM TURKEY
WHY I CHANGED MY BANNER …… or …… NO ONE TRIES TO MAKE A BAD MOVIE
Sort of like the paper clip. You might never have thought of it yourself, but when someone explains it to you it seems so EASY!
So it was with something said by Mr. Kirksey. We were discussing the dearth of really good current movies. One explanation, of course, is that every age has bad entertainment. It is only the really good stuff that survives for later generations to partake. But, I commented, there had been recently (this was the 1980's) so MANY VERY bad movies that it seemed as though Hollywood was actually TRYING to make bad movies.
MEET JERICA HENLINE – SCREENWRITER OF POLYCARP
Back in April, 2017 I was pleased to post my interview with Garry Nation, star of Polycarp. I am now delighted to announce that our Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception here in Lake Charles will be hosting a showing of Polycarp on Saturday, July 15, 2017 at 6 pm at the Ave Maria Hall at 935 Kirby Street in Lake Charles, LA, across from the Cathedral. I would encourage everyone and anyone interested in independent film making in general or this wonderful adaptation of the last months of this saint, bishop and martyr’s life in particular to come to this FREE showing. Our Youth group will be selling treats as part of a fund raiser during the show, so bring your appetite for snacks as well as your hunger for good wholesome entertainment.
And now meet Polycarp‘s extraordinary and talented young screenplay writer – Jerica Henline – whose patience and generosity of spirit allowed me to film this interview.
CLICK ON THE PICTURES TO BE DIRECTED TO THE APPROPRIATE YOUTUBES.
Jerica Henline introduces herself and describes what inspired her to write Polycarp.
Jerica Henline explains what, to her, is the most important theme in Polycarp.
Jerica Henline describes her favorite scene in her screenplay Polycarp.
Jerica Henline, screenwriter of Polycarp, explains how she and brother Joe became involved in film making.
Jerica Henline describes how to contact Henline Productions or purchase their products, including their 2015 production, Polycarp.
CARS 3: THE BEST OF THE TRILOGY
THE MUMMY – LIVE ACTION COMIC BOOK FUN
NOT YOUR MOM’S FREAKY FRIDAY – THIS IS A FABULOUS PLAY!!!
WONDER WOMAN – DC FINALLY HITS A HOME RUN!!!!!
SHORT TAKE:
Wonder Woman is a true corker of an action adventure hero story as well as a genuine class act of good military mission story combined with a super hero origin story and some honest to goodness Christian virtue and humility – ALL – astonishingly and surprisingly, with a woman in the lead.
MY TAKE – SPOILERS!!! Though I will try to keep them to the minimum necessary to make my points.
As much as I like Scarlett Johanssen as an actress and Black Widow as a character, there is a reason I think Marvel has never planned an origin story for her. I just do not think – or DID not think – a woman could carry off a lead action adventure super hero story. In addition, I grew up with Linda Carter’s red, white and blue over flowing D cup and lasso in one of the cheesiest TV shows ever filmed. So when I heard they had proposed a Wonder Woman movie I thought they had designed a ship made with a hole already in the hull. But I was wrong.
First off – and I say this as a card carrying heterosexual – Gal Gadot is one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen. And the Amazons she is a member of do not try to fight like men. The writers wisely make sensible use of women’s lithe agility and maneuverability, concentrating on their ability with bows rather than strength. In addition, Ms. Gadot is an honest to goodness hero, herself, having spent two years as the sports trainer with the Israeli Defense Corps. In addition, she had swordsmanship, Kung Fu kickboxing, Capoeira and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training in preparation to play Diana. So when she appears to be kicking some genuine a** – well boys, I wouldn’t cross her.
Second – there is a really good plot. And I don’t just mean a compelling well held together story about a group on a mission to stop the production of a super killer gas at the crucial point of armistice during World War I – though this part of the story was well thought out. I mean that there is a timely theme of Christian mercy, forgiveness, honor, noble purpose, compassion and acceptance of mankind’s sinful but redeemable nature, which foundationally supports the excellent Desperate Journey like mission on which the group embarks.
Third – there is humor. The story never takes itself completely seriously. It is fully aware there is a comic book flavor to it. The story unfolds almost as though – ala Princess Bride – a grandpa is relaying a story of which he was proudly a part to an adoring grandchild. But it never makes fun of nor disrespects the genre or the conceptual impetus which is the genius behind the basics of the story.
Fourth: Attention is given to detail. Things that happen later in the movie are naturally set up earlier in the plot. There aren’t any cheats. In addition, there are moments of revelation for each of the characters which give just enough back story to help understand their motives without throwing it in your face. The writers and director have confidence in the audience’s ability to understand the characters but allow the characters some privacy. For example, Ewen Bremner’s Charlie is supposed to be a marksmen, but at a crucial moment can’t shoot. He later has a terrible nightmare which is never explained. But Sameer tells Diana that everyone struggles with their own demons.
Fifth: There's a wonderful supporting cast, including, among others I mention, Chris (Captain Kirk) Pine as Steve Trevor – Diana's companion-in-arms.
Sixth: There are some terrific small moments. For example: Diana and Sameer (Said Taghmaoui) have a "language – off". He says he can speak a number of languages and quips to her in a foreign language, to which she replies, then she says something else in another language, to which he responds, and back and forth. Finally she throws him some "ancient Greek" to which he concedes defeat. Then Steve comments: "Are you two done now?"
IMPORTANT SPOILERS FOLLOWS!!!!! DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!
Foretellingly the Chief (Eugene Brave Rock), Sameer and Steve run through what feels like a ritual script:
Chief: Let's get what we want.
Sameer: Get what we need.
{NOTE: KEY LINE NEXT}
Steve Trevor: And never get what we deserve.
It will make perfect sense when the time comes.
Near the beginning Diana rescues Steve from a crashed plane as he is drowning. The only thing he manages to save from the plane is the pocket watch his father had given him. When he later gives it to Diana it occurred to me the film makers beautifully were making the point that Steve, from the moment Diana pulled him from the water, was living off of borrowed time – time Diana had given him and which Steve then symbolically passes, baton-like, in gratitude, back to her.
In an incredible scene Diana insists on interrupting their primary mission to help a beleaguered village being abused by German soldiers. When the others in the mission group, including Steve, refuse, saying they don’t have time, Diana decides to go alone through "no man’s land" – a front line demarcating the two enemy lines for which no one has seen a change in months. Diana sheds her disguise and walks into battle singlehandedly taking on the bullets of an entire front line – thereby spurring Steve and his companions to follow her and give her support which in turn inspires the rest of the soldiers to follow, which breaks the enemy line. At no point does she say "but I am not a man". The scene is so well done that she really kind of earned the right to say it but in a moment of tremendous restraint and class the writers do not succumb to the temptation.
And there are a myriad other comments and moments which make this film rise head and shoulders above, not just most of the infamously bad DC movies like Batman V Superman or the trite Suicide Squad but also the in-your-face bad taste that was Deadpool or the ho hum of the later Toby McGuire attempts at Spiderman.
I really can’t praise or recommend this movie highly enough. I would even venture to elevate this from "movie" to the status of "film" in that there is literacy and literature within.
This is not at all to say it doesn’t ALSO fit the rock ‘em sock ‘em action adventure mold. There’s plenty of amazing heroics, superhero gymnastics, bad guy pulverizing, magic swords and super hero feats of daring do. But these fit neatly and seamlessly into a well crafted movie against a backdrop of humans trying to do their moral best in a time of great evil. Were the language heightened to iambic pentameter I think Shakespeare would have given it his nod.
DC should be very very proud of this latest installment. If you liked Christopher Reeves Superman, The Avengers, both Captain Americas, and Iron Man then you are going to LOVE Wonder Woman.
Mighty DC has FINALLY NOT struck out. Well done DC.
MEMORIAL DAY MEMORIES AND MOVIES
While contemplating my favorite Memorial Day weekend appropriate movies I thought of: my Dad, some movies I didn’t see on anyone else’s list, and some classic favorites, in that order.MEMORIAL DAY – MY DAD, THE PATRIOT
When contemplating Memorial Day and patriotism I do so, unabashedly, through my father’s eyes. Billy Ashton Weisfeld was a radarman on the destroyer Breckenridge during World War II back in the day when radar was so top secret just talking about it outside of their classrooms could land them in Portsmouth Naval Prison. He was very proud of his service and I have always been proud of him. And I see patriotism through the filter of his definitions. He was the one who risked his life for four years. He earned that right.
He taught me to stand during the pledge of allegiance and during the Star Spangled Banner. I remember, sometime during junior high we had a choir teacher who refused to instruct us to stand while we practiced the Star Spangled Banner. I remember being very upset about this and making an impassioned plea on behalf of the men and women who were currently fighting and dying in Vietnam. My arguments fell on deaf eras. (Ironic for a choir teacher.) However, when I approached my parents with my dilemma my Dad took me for an appointment with the principal. I made my case and thereafter we stood for the Star Spangled Banner – whether in performance or practice.
On a more humorous note my Dad and I went to see Poltergeist at the theater in 1982. I don’t know if any of you will remember this but it starts with the TV actually “signing off” for the day as stations were wont to do back then. The end of the programming day was heralded with – The Star Spangled Banner. Not even realizing it was the beginning of the movie – not that it would have made much difference – when the Anthem began, my Dad immediately stood up and I stood with him —– by ourselves —– because it was just the beginning of the movie. I can’t help but chuckle to this day. But, funny as that was, I was and am so proud of him for that. It is one of my favorite memories.
Now, while my Dad, thankfully, did not lose his life during the war – obviously, given these recollections from events which took place in the early ’60’s and ’80’s – he did lose his hearing. His radar station was beneath the big guns which classically blast out during every sea based World War II movie, booming noises rattling your seats even before Extreme Digital was a thing. Though he was fully entitled to disability from the government he refused to apply, saying that his service had been a privilege. Again, I was very proud of my father for his attitude.
I know Memorial Day is to honor those who died fighting for our country and her ideals. My father would have been the first to shy from comparing his efforts to those who never got a chance to offer decades to America, but much like the white martyrs of the Catholic church, my Dad gave his entire life in the service of the ideals of his country by the way he lived and by inculcating those ideals to his children. In return I and my siblings and our spouses have tried to pay it forward to our children.
MOVIES – THE UNSUNG HEROES
There are a plethora of really good patriotic movies. There are a handful on my list which I did not find on anyone else’s.
Now an advisory. There are some well done movies about war which do not deserve to be placed on this list. They are movies which I admit are creative, artistic, fascinating, even literary masterpieces. But they do not deserve a place with these better brethren because they do not respect America, her ideals or the reasons for which we went to war. America fights not to conquer but to free. We are the only major power who has not colonized as victors. Instead of taking Kuwait as a territory we freed it. Instead of laying claim to the areas we won during World War II we asked only, as General Powell notably said, for enough ground to bury our dead. America protects the innocent, feeds the hungry, heals the broken, adopts the homeless, and helps our enemies to get back on their own feet. This philosophy was even immortalized in an affectionate jab of political satire called The Mouse That Roared wherein a small destitute country attacks America just to be defeated so she can receive much needed aid. The movies that do not recognize or respect that distinctly American tradition and morality do not deserve a place with this group any more than does the coward who Patton famously slapped belonged in the military hospital, demoralizing the wounded soldiers. So —- I won’t mention them here, but I suspect you know the ones to which I refer.
This first group of Memorial Day-worthy movies are ones which I did not find on many, if any, prominent list, because of political correctness, age of the film, or plain old quirkiness.
The Green Berets – A classic old John Wayne movie about the Vietnam War – likely the ONLY movie which extolled the virtues of why we went there in the first place, made at a time when we were told the plan was to win. Liberal reporter David Janssen and patriot John Wayne as Green Beret Colonel Kirby face off in an in-country expedition to explore our original mission: to defeat the cancerous brutal totalitarian political structure of Communism then creeping into Southeast Asia, and to provide humanitarian aid to Communism’s indigenous victims.
The Scarlet and the Black – Based on the actual account of Msgr. Hugh O’Flaherty, Gregory (To Kill a Mockingbird) Peck portrays this brave priest at the Vatican during World War II who aids in the sequestration and rescue of thousands of Jews under the nose of the reigning Nazis who surround it and infest Italy.
Victory – another based on a true story – starring Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine and real life soccer legend Pele, the story is about the soccer game between an international group of POWs and German soldiers. The intent, much like the 1936 Berlin Olympics, was to prove German “superiority” by publicly humiliating the non-German losers. Needless to say, like their Olympic failure to Jesse Owens, it backfired spectacularly.
The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming – comedy this time. At the height of the Cold War, a Russian submarine Captain, (Theodore Bikel, who later became known as the Klingon Worf’s adoptive human father from Star Trek: The Next Generation) runs aground off Gloucester Island. The Captain just wanted to get a look at America to satisfy his own completely non-political curiosity and got a little…too…close. Stuck on a sandbar, the Captain and his crew faced American imprisonment as spies on one hand and lethal Russian retribution if suspected of trying to defect on the other. So to prevent an international incident, not to mention his own capture, extradition and likely execution, he sends a team out headed by Alan Arkin as Lt. Rozanov, to find a way to pull the sub free before the submarine is discovered. This hilarious, and warm-hearted comedy also stars Brian Keith, Jonathan Winters and Carl Reiner, along with a plethora of familiar funny faces. I picked this one because it is a demonstration, albeit done in an affectionate parody, of how average American citizen-patriot/soldiers, willing to die to protect America and her ideals, are also willing to extend friendship, show common ground, and offer protection to the helpless when the opportunity arises, even to our enemies.
1776 – A musical – WAIT! THAT MAKES THIS ONE LITERALLY A SUNG HERO – or, at least singING ones – if you can believe it, about the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Paraphrasing the last sentence of the Declaration, these 56 men, with hope in the protection of Divine Providence, pledged to support that Declaration with their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor. Many saw their homes burned, their families abused, their children vanished. Some died in poverty or from wounds or torture. Some lost sons on the battlefield. Thomas Nelson, Jr., (who does not feature in this movie but whose sacrifice deserves mention) just as an example, discovering Cornwallis had encamped in his palatial home, fired the cannon to destroy it himself – and died a bankrupt. 1776 concerns who these Founding Fathers were and why they came together to so devote themselves – only they do it in song. 1776 mostly focuses on John Adams (William Daniels), Thomas Jefferson (Ken Howard) and Benjamin Franklin’s (Howard DeSilva) efforts to acquire unanimous consent on breaking with the British Empire. One of the most charming aspects of this little known film is the conversations the otherwise “obnoxious and disliked” John has with his wife Abigail (Virginia Vestoff). Lifted from the pages of the letters between the real John and Abigail, these interchanges manifest themselves in bittersweet duets wherein they engage in playful banter and loving longing, unable to touch because they are really only conversing by written exchange.
Monuments Men
13 Hours
Sole Survivor
Hacksaw Ridge
We Were Soldiers
The Alamo
The Patriot
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES – A FLICK TOO FAR
SHORT TAKE
Yet ANOTHER in a series of weaker and weaker installments of Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which, nonetheless, still has a few surprisingly good moments (and I do mean teeny tiny moments), mostly thanks to Geoffrey Rush, about the importance of fatherhood.
SPOILERS
I admit, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales anticipating, regretfully, that I would have to write a scathingly dismissive pan for this fifth installment in this series of decreasingly inventive franchise offerings. While I was, unfortunately, not wrong, there is reason to reinforce my belief that “NO one TRIES to make a bad movie”. Amazingly, I found aspects to commend and which deserve some applause.
Before I get there I have to first express dismay – did the director just tell the crew: “Follow Depp around as he pin balls from place to place as Jack Sparrow and we’ll write a script around whatever he’s doing”???
Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t want to not like this movie. I even went wearing my Pirates of the Caribbean earrings my kids gave me for Mother’s Day years ago for the opening of a previous P of C installment.
But these movies suffer from what in the sci fi world could be described as “replicative fading” – the tendency of copies of copies to become less well defined, more replete with mistakes and less richly detailed than the predecessors until at last the descendants are no longer viable. Do they not think they have perhaps milked enough out of an idea which began as a SINGLE EXHIBIT IN A DISNEY THEME PARK RIDE!!! I think this parrot has ceased to be (apologies to Monty Python and the Dead Parrot sketch).
The stories, after the first one wherein Depp brilliantly stepped onto a dock from the crow’s nest of a sinking ship, now seem to slap dash about from one preposterous situation to another as Depp bounces around doing pratfalls: falling off a tall fence into a muddy pig pen, being dragged down the street with his foot attached to a rope by horses pulling a….well, a HOUSE down a street, evading ghost pirates by lassoing a ghost shark, and pirouetting on a board as a guillotine slides back and forth within inches of his neck. His previous incarnations of the worst pirate Commadore Norrington had ever heard of: engaged in a sword fight while running in a water wheel, fought with squid headed sailors, and drunkenly swung invincibly from chandeliers, ropes and off house tops. All this with ZERO suspense as we know he will escape unharmed.
Sparrow’s antics are often reminiscent of other more original vaudeville-like routines from other movies and eras: Chaplin’s Little Tramp’s breakdown in Modern Times where the Tramp misses being crushed by centimeters as he cavorts through gears and machinery; or perhaps Baby Herman’s parkour crawl from Who Framed Roger Rabbit around the increasingly dangerous kitchen as Roger attempts to rescue him; or maybe just the Three Stooges as they endure falls, impacts and encounters with lethal implements with only minor scratches and the occasional blackened hair to show for it. But Depp’s Sparrow simply leans heavily on these creative giants, no longer bringing anything original or inventive to the slap stick. While there are a lot of cartoon deaths, you know Sparrow will live to stagger another day. Without him there IS no Pirates franchise. So there’s really no serious tension.
Meanwhile, though they can’t do without him they don’t seem to do much with him either. His character has become less the center of focus and more like Puck, flitting between the other characters, igniting chaos and consequences with which the others must deal, getting himself away repercussion free.
While I really don’t mind that, I do mind the fact that the writers don’t even TRY to convince you anything bad will happen to Sparrow any more. The unlikelihood of Sparrow being even injured takes away all healthy suspense and tension from the film, which, in turn, takes away all the ebb and flow of emotion which sparks humor.
As for the other characters:. Disney HAD to try to set up the “next generation” Will-Elizabeth paring. But Brenton Thwaites who plays Henry Turner, son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan, and Kaya Scodelaria, who plays Carina Smyth, the supposed leads/new love interests have absolutely….no…chemistry…between … them….what-so-ever. While Will and Elizabeth (reprised briefly here by Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly) had a life long history which made their bond credible, Henry and Carina have only just met under absurd circumstances. They are arrested, escape, captured, and rescued from execution via one more ridiculous scenario after another: Because she is a women expressing an interest in science she is declared a witch. Henry is the sole survivor of a shipwreck so is condemned to death. Carina finds out Henry is after the Trident as well so springs him from his chains in return for an alliance but is herself arrested and sent to the gallows. Henry hires Jack’s old crew to save both Carina and Jack from execution — and on and on. It’s silly, and as though the writers couldn’t think of a legitimate plot, they just invented one “escape room” after another to challenge their intrepid heroes. When in doubt – have someone chase them and, like Bugs Bunny, they always manage to get away.
And you know what else is annoying: They absolutely WASTE David Wenham (Faramir from Lord of the Rings) in unrecognizable makeup and cliche bad guy lines and Paul McCartney!!!!! in a cameo under Halloween quantity makeup and facial hair.
NO ONE TRIES TO MAKE A BAD MOVIE:
There is a small gem to be dug up. Once again reinforcing my belief that NO one tries to make a bad movie, P of C: Dead Men has an underlying thread of essential purpose hiding, like Paul McCartney, under all the totally unnecessary and fairly ludicrous accessories.
Both the lead characters – Henry and Carina – are on Chataquas inspired by their respective fathers. Henry is trying to find Poseidon’s Trident in order to use it (somehow) to release Will from his curse and return him back to the family fold. Carina is determined to follow her father’s diary to find this same Trident as a legacy to him.
Once again, instinctively, against the will and wishes of every P.C. promoter in Hollywood, they can not seem to avoid the irresistible truth that FATHERS ARE AT THE CORE OF EVERY CHILD. For better or worse the fathers of Henry and Carina are the true leads of this movie – mostly unseen in the former case and a mystery in the latter, the fathers propel the plot (such as it is) and most of the motivations.
Which brings me to a shining moment of three dimensional coalescence in the form of Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa. Rush is an astonishing actor: David Helfgott in Shine, Hans Hubermann in The Book Thief, Lionel Logue – King George’s teacher – in The King’s Speech, Javert in the prose version of Les Miserables, Peter Sellers in The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, Philip “I don’t know, it’s a mystery” Henslowe in Shakespeare in Love, even the voice of Nigel the Aussie Pelican in Finding Nemo – the man is a versatile, nuanced, and powerful actor; a chameleon, like Dustin Hoffman, who can singlehandedly suck you into the world of the movie in which he resides. Make no mistake, even Rush can not shore up this shaky step down into the sink hole that has become the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
However, Rush manages to knead a few lovely moments out of this Playdough of a script and gift us with a last couple of surprises. When Carina tells Barbossa where she got her father’s diary, Rush doesn’t have to say a word, but like the walk Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey takes at the train station in It’s a Wonderful Life when George decides to sacrifice his own future for his brother’s happiness, we watch Barbossa’s face as he walks away from the young woman that fate has thrown in his path. We understand in the next few seconds by his expression, his gaited walk and his thousand yard stare that he has just realized Carina is his daughter. Of course it is on the strength of Rush’s portrayal alone which makes this moment both believable and moving and which makes his inevitable sacrifice for her later the real genuine and satisfying ending to this series. There is NOTHING before this in the plot which would suggest this connection; nothing in the way the actress behaves, nothing she says, which would give the audience a fair hint that she and Barbossa had a connection. It was as though the script’s instructions were: “On the word ‘orphanage’ Geoffrey Rush proceeds to act the SNOT out of the moment to carry this scene, because we’ve been too busy working in absurd Captain Jack ‘schticks’ to write an actual plot.”
Barbossa’s death should have been the penultimate scene of the movie. From the first there has been the push and pull of Barbossa and Sparrow. Without Barbossa there is only the Sparrow clown left and had the creators ANY sense at all they would have let this franchise end – not with a bang but with the whispered word “Treasure” – Barbossa’s description to Carina of what she is to him just before he dies.
FINAL GRIPES:
We homeschooled six kids from Kindergarten through high school graduation, so we were around our kids a LOT. And I have told them, probably, hundreds of times: You can get away with a lot if you can make me laugh. And I could have forgiven much in this movie if they had been funny. But sadly, even though this is supposed to be a comedy, the moments are barely worth the occasional smile.
Pintel and Ragetti – the pirate Abbot and Costello part of Barbossa’s crew – the thick bald guy and the skinny one whose eye keeps popping out – who provided occasional Greek chorus like quips during the first movies have been replaced with a forgettable pair who I would not be able to point out in a line up. Pintel and Ragetti were sort of adorable buffoons. The new guys are neither recognizable nor have any distinguishing characteristics to make them stand out in the crowd of pirates.
I’m not sure the writers and producers really know their audience any more – which is a downright tragedy for a franchise that’s been going on for 14 years.
ONE SMALL CONSOLATION
It was actually quite nice to see Bloom and Knightly reprise their respective roles at the tip end as Turner and Swan and reunite after the curse is broken.
SAVE US!!!!!
HOWEVER, the writers apparently think they will be able to squeeze yet another pathetic replicant out of this failing enterprise. There is a reveal after the credits finish rolling as Turner and Swan lie contentedly asleep together as husband and wife. (And, yes, I’m one of those people who stay to marvel at the enormity of digital artists there are, listen to the epilogue medley of themes, and watch for “fun” credits such as “hand models” and “bee wranglers” – OK so I’m easily amused. AND I’ve been doing this YEARS before “Easter eggs” started cropping up in the credits.) Clues during this extra scene indicate there likely will be yet ANOTHER P of C!!! This speculation is hammered home if you check out us.imbd.com. Type “Pirates of the” into the search engine and you will find “Pirates of the Caribbean 6"…………………………. *sigh*